Do you feel you aren’t creative to come up with new encouragements every day? If so, this will be good news…
You don’t have to be original with your encouragement.
You see, the pillar of building belief and esteem in others is your consistency of words and actions. And consistency is a great habit that isn’t hard to develop.
Why you should give people you care about encouragement every day
You wife works hard every day, whether it is bringing in money as a working spouse, taking care of the kids as a stay-at-home mother, or just taking care of the house chores.
It’s tough working everyday, but she does it consistently. And it makes your life better. Shouldn’t you give back consistent love and encouragement in return? Just imagine how you would (or do) feel going to work to support the family every day. You need some kind of encouragement to give incentive to get out of bed every morning. That may be money, or a boss’s praise. But everybody needs something.
And here is the best part of being consistent… it will improve your life in two ways…
-
You will gain the skill to give praise and encouragement naturally, almost without thinking.
It will become a part of you like any other skill that you practice. Imagine learning to play the guitar every day. At first it is a struggle with each finger to get it to do what you want. But eventually they will learn to form chords automatically on command. And the more you practice, the more it will just be a natural extension of your thoughts. You’ll think “C chord” and your fingers will form the chord without a pause or struggle.
When you develop an encouraging spirit that is as effortless as that, then you will have a powerful skill that builds up everybody around you.
That can help you at work, at home with the wife and kids, and among your friends.
And that leads to the second benefit…
-
When you encourage others, they will want to encourage you.
If you give, you will receive. Giving encouragement will build confidence in others and gain you respect as a caring and giving person. And next time you have a struggle, those people that you have encouraged will want to help and encourage you. It is the law of reciprocity. Let me explain…
It is human nature to want to give back to people who have given to them. It was probably developed in eons past to keep peace and support the growth and stability of the first human tribes.
Sure, some people may ignore this basic human nature. But if you encourage a large number of close friends and family there will be far more who will want to give back to you.
And that is a powerful tool for your emotional survival. They will become your supporting community. You will benefit immensely.
And these benefits will come from simply consistently encouraging those around you every day. You will become a well-respected encourager.
Are you afraid that this will be hard?
It’s not if you find specific points in people to encourage and focus on those points. And repetition will build up belief.
Thinking about the guitar analogy again… the only way to master a song is to play it repeatedly. There will come a point where you don’t even think about the notes or chords anymore. You just connect with the song and it flows from within you with no effort at all.
And it doesn’t have to be boring. Let me tell you why…
Why you should use the same encouraging words every time
Do you think consistency is just about encouraging every day? If so, here is something important you should know…
Consistency in what you say is powerful, too.
Think about it. If you received the same message consistently, you would believe that message. And that is important if you want to encourage positive behavior.
For example, if your children struggle with cleaning their room, simply praising them encourages them to do it again. A simple phrase like “Your cleaning your room made me very happy because you are taking responsibility for your life” encourages mature, responsible behavior… and is more powerful over the long run than threats.
You may have experienced this in your own life at work. If your boss always gives you kudos for doing a task well, doesn’t it make you want to continue doing that task well? And soon you don’t even need to hear that praise to encourage you. It becomes internalized within you. You do the task well simply because you know you do it well.
Not to say you should use consistency to be manipulative (you should always be authentic in your encouragement. But you should be consistent to help others develop skills and talents that are their strengths.
How will you use consistency?
I hope you will become consistent in your encouragement in the two ways you’ve read here…
- Encourage those you love every day.
- Be consistent with your encouragement to instill belief in others.
Where can you see using consistency in your life to improve the quality of your relationships?
Comments on this entry are closed.