How To Give Your Encouragement The Power To Change Lives

Assertive: having or showing a confident and forceful personality.

Have you ever had someone look you straight into the eye and tell you something with such conviction that you can’t help but believe them?

It’s like Clint Eastwood’s steely-blue eyes silently screaming “You believe me… period.”

If you have then you have experienced assertive encouragement… and you understand the power of those words with that look. Here is why assertiveness is so important…

• It establishes your encouragement as believable and effective because people are engulfed by your confidence and belief. And that confidence is transferred into their self-belief.
• It can make people uncomfortable and squirm under your words for a long time… and that’s a good thing. Those words can force them out of self-defeating patterns by sticking in their mind. Imagine, every time they start down a self-defeating path, your encouragement is there stopping them like a mutilating thorn bush across a hiking trail.
• The next time they grapple with self-doubt, they’ll come back to you because you change them… their beliefs and actions. You are a powerful ally in their life. And to be successful, people need allies.

Three keys for you to be assertive…

1. Look them straight in the eye. Eye contact has more power than anything else you do. This single action will increase the effectiveness of your encouragement. Why? Because it is so difficult to look someone in the eye and lie. When you look them in the eye, they just know it’s the truth because you are opening a door into your soul.
2. Slow your speech. Fast-talk can sound flippant, hurried, and insincere… kind of like a sales pitch from a second-hand car salesperson. Slowing your speech makes you sound more authentic and sincere…. more believable. And it gives plenty of time for each word to be taken in and digested by people.
3. Touch the person (if appropriate). A hand on the shoulder or arm establishes a physical connection that further strengthens assertion that what you are saying comes from deep within you… that you are authentic and sincere. Note: Be careful… only do this if you know it is acceptable (spouse, your children, family). If there is any question, don’t do it!

These simple tips will make your encouragement believable and effective because they can’t help but see your confidence and truth.

And these simple physical cues will put the person in a strong receiving state. Why does that matter?

Words told to a person in a strong receiving state carry tons of weight

The person has let down their guard, they are completely open to what you have to tell them. And that is great. Here’s why…

Have you ever spoken to a salesperson who you trusted? You believed them. And when they recommended a product, you were ready to buy immediately. Why? Because you know that they have your best interests at heart. They weren’t interested in just making a sale. They wanted what was best for you.

You were in a receiving state.

And you were ready to buy immediately.

If you want to impact someone, you need to develop that trust. Being convicted inside yourself that what you are saying is true is how you get them to believe… because you believe it yourself.

What assertiveness tells a person

Being assertive says “hey, listen and believe me!”, “you’re important to me”, “I really care”. The door is open. You are putting in your confidence. And your confidence builds confidence in those you encourage, especially when you are consistent with your encouragement.

And be tenacious (without being pushy). Many people have problems with self-confidence and will easily dismiss what you have to say. Don’t let them! When you truly see something valuable in a person, tell them… over and over and over in different ways. Eventually it will sink in and that will move people to a positive mental state.

If you want to be effective in your encouragement, be assertive. That means instead of making off-the-cuff comments, sit that person down, look them in the eyes, take their hand, and boldly state your encouragement (remembering to be specific).

Who do you need to be more assertive with to make them finally believe you?