Children are amazing little people. They absorb learning like sponges. And that scares me to death. Let me tell you why…
I often worry what kind of example I’m setting for my children.
Do I discipline strictly to set them on the straight and narrow?
Do I relax and let them learn for themselves?
In the end, does it really matter? I mean… look at me versus my brother and sister. I think my parents did a good job raising us. We grew up together in the same family environment. But we still turned out very different people.
So to try to resolve these internal battles, I try to stick by this one rule…
Encourage my children to be the best they can be at their natural talents and interests.
For my creative daughter, that means supporting and encouraging her creativity in music and art.
For my analytical oldest son, that means answering his never ending curiosity as precisely as he needs.
For my adventurous youngest son, that means trying to teach him to be safe while adventurous. (He’s not talking yet, so I can only do my best.)
How I try to manage my encouragement in a hectic family
Dealing with daily life in a family can quickly get you off kilter. It’s easy to homogenize how you treat your children.
The biggest problem I face is trying not to impose my world view of what they should be and how they should become it. Living vicariously through my children is not my idea of positive encouragement.
Positive encouragement focuses energy in a positive direction. That means focusing on their talents and strengths, not improving their weaknesses… at least not beyond the barest minimum needed to get by in life.
To help me do this, I try to develop personality profiles of their likes and dislikes, their strengths and talents, and their interests.
That helps me to maintain my focus on their encouragement needs, not what I think they should hear. And that is important because…
Why children need to hear what they are good at
I’ve read that you can tell a child’s natural talents and personality as early as six years old. That’s a flag that I need to start paying attention.
When children are supported and encouraged in their talents, they will succeed beyond imagination. They are going to be bombarded with school that tries to homogenize all children and what they should know.
They are going to face peer-pressure to become like other children.
You have the power to help your kids avoid many pitfalls of childhood and adolescence. Encouraging their talents and reinforcing their natural personalities will help anchor them so when the storms of peer-pressure blow they will be able to form their own opinions and make their own life choices.
In other words, they will become who they were naturally meant to be… not confused and lost.
Your voice will be in their subconscious to help guide them along life’s path.
I encourage you to start making your child’s personality profile today and encouraging their strengths and talents. And years later when they are trying to choose a college major you will have the information and proof you need to help guide them into a beautiful life they naturally love.
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